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Every person, by virtue of the Laws of humanity, has the right to choose how to live their life.  The consequences they face as a result of their choices are theirs alone to face – and to believe that we have the power to decide for any other person is a violation of the Laws of humanity, and Article IX of our US Constitution.  

Is it not hypocritical to demand the right to act and live as we choose, and yet expect that others will listen to us as we protest this right – believing that our protests will influence them to our way of thinking?

Perhaps there are those who need the firsthand experience of war to fully realize its destructive nature.  

There are well-known mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers who now speak out against war as a result of their firsthand experience with war.  They address the fact that they wish they had done so earlier, but no amount of public protests were able to draw them in.  It was not until they faced a personal loss from war that they were willing to take the significant action they did to change their lives.

How soon they seem to forget, however.

No one could influence them to believe with the passion needed to speak out – only their personal experience could do this.

Why should it be so difficult to expect that others are the same?

What right do we have, simply because our firsthand experience put us straight into the fire, to believe that we now have the power to tell others to think as we do, without benefit of their own firsthand experience?

War destroys – but perhaps there are some who must face that destruction themselves before they truly understand.

Yes we can talk about our personal experiences, but they are the personal experiences we were allowed to have, we needed to have in order to come to what we now believe.  Perhaps we must give the same allowance to others so that they, too, can come to their own beliefs.   

How can we expect others to simply choose as we have chosen?

We can teach, we can explain – we can offer alternatives.

We cannot take away an individual’s right to choose – or the time in which they learn the lessons set before them.  

It can be painful to watch others having to go through what we have.  The witness tends to remind us of our own experiences – something many of us do not want to see again.  We must realize, however, that it is not within our power to keep others from facing what they must face in order to grow and understand from their own perspective.

It is this realization that we all must make if we are to make any progress toward Peace.  

Peace relies on a strong foundation and that foundation is laid one brick at a time.  Why does the effort toward peace continue to fail?  We foolishly believe that others will trust our word enough to act as we do without proof that our actions are true.  

We say that the choices of individuals matter – and yet in our demand for peace we give others no choice.  

We say that the rights of others to live freely, without influence from outside sources are a right of all humanity – and yet in our demand for peace we expect to influence others to think as we do.  

We say that war must end because all killing is wrong – and yet we are willing to sacrifice the value of our own lives to make such a statement as boldly as possible.

Until our actions match our words – there will always be war, and life will continue to be destroyed.

Isn’t the answer to live as we believe – giving others the right to come to their own determination of right and wrong?  The consequences will be painful at times– but the individual lessons learned will bring a greater understanding of the need for peace than any amount of public protest.

Innocents die in war – but while we are busy protesting the destructive force of war on other countries, we are allowing innocents to suffer different aspects of that same destructive force – right here at home.

Innocent children grow up without the benefit of the moral guidance that comes best from families who care about each other more than they care about the families of others.

Teenagers who need parents setting limits are left to their own devices while parents seek to find gratification in an activism that would not be necessary if they would simply take the time to help their children develop into adults with the security of knowing that parents cared about them first, before taking responsibility for the actions of others.

Our youth are learning their values from those who have no responsibility to care what they teach, as parents are concerned more with saving the young lives of children whose parents were doing just fine before our intervention – sacrificing the young lives of their own children in the process; ignoring the cracks in a foundation of family values that could be the strength in regaining what this country now stands to lose.  

We believe we have the knowledge and the experience to tell others how to live and yet we trust the teaching of our own children to people we know nothing about.

We wonder when our children join the military – where did we go wrong?  We join counter-recruiting organizations to go to our schools and tell the children of others what we never bothered to tell our own.  

Peace comes from within not without.

Peace comes from acceptance – not agreement.  

Peace comes from understanding that the lives of others do not belong to us – we cannot be responsible for the choices others make.  But we must be responsible for our own.  

Peace comes from knowing that we are free to live as we choose, simply because we allow others to do the same, even if their choices lead them to face painful consequences – they are consequences they must face before they learn the true value of Peace.    

Peace does not come from simply respecting those who are in agreement with what we believe.  Peace comes from giving the same respect to those who disagree, who are seen as opposition, as “enemies”.  Peace comes from knowing that no amount of destructive behavior directed at us has allowed us to lose sight of our own commitment to the peaceful process. 

Peace is not about controlling others.

Peace simply knows that we control ourselves.

Monica Benderman is a Senior Staff Writer for Choice America Network.  She has been widely published throughout the Internet and Newspapers around the world.  Her husband is Sgt. Kevin Benderman.   You may contact her at mdawnb@coastalnow.net

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